12
09
09
im really loving life right now , i dont know what it is . if its the new friends, school , partys ,______’s, no basketball, getting closer to my license . whatever it is im pretty damn thankful for it. I love how i’ve just been chillin this starting sophomore year. The fact how i can leave what needs to be behind , say ‘fuck it’ to drama, and accept and be happy for what i have is just great and those 3 things are just basically whats keepin me up.
School has been pretty wack but im making it my number one priority . its the most important for me right now and i think its the best if it stays like that . AP has been my life since school has started . its whatever because its gonna help me in the long run and save money for college. i had to make a shitload of sacrifices for school but in the end i just think of how its gonna help me.
The reason i quit basketball : i fuckin hate it, no one is going anywhere with it in ohs, interferes with grades; salazar, white, and the whiteboy are assholes , it just makes me depressed knowing i have to go to practice, it takes up too much time, no time for anything else , its gonna get me nowhere in life, i dont think i help out the team in any way, i’d rather have a job and make paper . and basketball is a brother hood ? fuck that shit, you can fuckin build one at santa venetia.
Damn man, seems like you got everything figured out. lotta shit coming down on me lately ha. hope its all good for you.
…more than anybody else would understand.
until I see you, I’m a broken man.
You were always my better half.
I havent blogged anything since xanga.
Mm so todays the second day of school. idk why, but I’ve been feeling so down. like, just straight up sad. maybe it was the shit we took over the summer, maybe its the physical absence of my lover in my everyday life, or me and my mom not talking anymore, or…idk. I really just made this thing cause I wanted to talk about two things: summer and my feelings (no homo).
First of all, I know its a couple days late, but Summer ‘09 will be the summer I will always remember. How can’t I? It was theee shit. DEFINITELY one of the reasons I’m so down is because its over, and I was having such a good time. I wanna say, first and foremost I am so grateful / happy / whatever else that I met and/or got close to them Morse kids and the Olympian boys. A few people know how hard Junior year was for me, and on the real, this summer made up for it. TO THE MORSE KIDS, I know I’m like half-family to you guys, but you guys are more important to me then you think. I’m so happy I met Jamie Diaz, Kim Delacruz, Misty & Jonah, Kevin Ringpis, Kiko James, Ian Rosario, Noah & Ricky Farinas, and everybody else I met, sober or not (most likely not sober, haha). And I’m happy I got closer and actually kicked it w/ people I already knew, like Kam and Rick Mayo and errbody. You guys truly made this past summer the best. ahh, ima miss working all day and being out all night. Kam’s house till sunrise, that one time @ my pad (which I thought was really fun haha), all the heat runs, climbing in and out of my window and going to work 3 hours later, meeting all the new people, finally getting back in touch with people I met @ last years Halloween party (haha), literally getting dressed @ midnight to go out, the whole lifestyle, pretty much errthaaang. its back to school mode. I could go on about summer forever but lastly, bidness was good ;]
Then there’s the other end of the spectrum. I dont know why I’m feeling down. I guess its just a lot of things mixed together. The summer ending is a definite reason. Then there’s my babygirl, who I havent seen in 5months and I wont see for another 2 months. Meeting those two lovebirds Jonah and Misty did not help at all haha. They’re in mad love, and it made me miss her so much more. What I’d give just to hold her hand, or fall asleep with her like they can. fml.
And I guess the other big thing is the school thing. Its cool I got to transfer an all but even though I know people, I still AM a new kid which has its set of problems. ESPECIALLY it being senior year. I was talking w/ Devon and Cacho about this earlier; everyone else in the school has been together since Bell or since Freshman year. and here I am, new kid on the block. Everybody’s got that senior adrenaline; new kids are cool news during freshman and sophomore year. By senior year, everybody’s got the friends they need. So, idk how to conclude this paragraph. i dont even know the main point i was trying to make. I think I’m just trippin. I just miss Kapolei High, if I could, I’d graduate w/ Sammy and DJ and Sunny and Dwayne and George and Jori and everyone else. I really dont know, been having hella mixed emotions the past two days. whatev.
mm okay. I think thats enough feelings shared by a guy for one blog. I really dont know if what I blogged was how I really felt an shit. ahh, I’m a confusing motherfucker.
